I am always asked... "How do you Deal with all of those Bridezillas?"
This is, more often than not, the first question I am asked when people find out I design and make wedding gowns.
Do you want to know what I really think of Bridezillas? Well, read on...
Planning a wedding and having a wedding gown made for you are all new and sometimes scary events. There are a lot of emotions brought to the surface and in many cases, no clear way to know how to deal with them.
I am extremely proud of the relationships I forge with my Brides and their families. And it is evident when Jennifer Gifford Designs is invited to work with past bride’s sisters, cousins and girlfriends on their weddings too.
Don’t get me wrong, it's not always plain sailing but I know when things get tense because she obviously has a lot on her plate, generally all she needs is a safe place to vent and/or cry. On occasion she also needs a supportive person with no connection to family or friends to just listen to her. Without judgement, opinion or criticism. Just some good “old fashioned” common sense advice and only when it’s really needed.
No one teaches you how to plan a wedding on top of everything else you are doing. There are limited resources for you to use when dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions brought on by these new and stressful situations.
That is why I often say to new clients, there are no stupid questions when you are planning a wedding. You can ask me anything! I have been doing this for nearly 18 years and probably know more than most, so please ask away. I truly believe open communication is key when working on such an important event as a wedding.
As far as I am concerned, there is no such thing as a Bridezilla. I believe it is society's way of demeaning a young woman who may lose her cool as a direct result of juggling the demands of everyday life while trying to plan her dream wedding.
I don’t ever call any of my Brides this word!! EVER!
Every Bride deserves to be treated with the utmost care, respect and understanding, for this time in her life is new, exciting and scary. That is why I do what I do and why I feel so blessed to be a part of each and every wedding day.
After all it is a couples sacred celebration of their love for one another.
I don't often attend a clients ceremony, but when I do, I seriously can't stop myself from getting emotional. As I said before, I am so very proud of the work I do with each and every Bride that books my services. And by "work" I'm not only talking about the designing, sewing and fitting part of what I do. I am also talking about the nurturing and support that comes naturally when working with a sometimes stressed out Bride to Be. I consider this to be just as important as making their wedding gown.
I love what I do and I love the people I get to work with. Yes even the stressed out ones!
I hope that in the future when one of my brides is asked about her wedding (perhaps by their grandchildren) one of her fondest memories will be of the time we spent together creating her wedding gown.
Take some time to read the articles I have linked to below written by a PHD Student via Phycology Today and a Journalist who writes for Refinery29.
Jen’s Recommended Reading
You Are Not a Bridezilla!
Why wedding planning is more stressful than it should be.
By Juliana Breines Ph.D.
It's hard to avoid being called a "bridezilla" not only because wedding planning demands or elicits bridezilla-like qualities at times, but also because wedding planning can be extremely stressful, and under stress none of us are at our best.
”Why we need to retire the word Bridezilla”
And is the bridezilla trope really the fault of the brides-to-be?
by Jess Commons of Refinery29
Ever since we were little, weddings have been marketed to women as "the biggest day of our lives". From wedding Barbies to weddings at the end of Disney films, girls grow up with more exposure weddings than any other adult event. And although we eventually grew out of wearing a pillowcase on our head and walking sedately through the living room to the dulcet tones of our little sister playing "Here Comes The Bride" on a kazoo, our education continued.